This blog post is simply explaining what I did to overcome my addiction.
Everyone’s addiction is different, and they all start and end differently. How I overcame my addiction may or may not help you. But, I have told myself since day 1 that I would help other addicts with my advice, tips, and tricks.
My addiction began because I was always a sheltered girl. I was a only child, a good student, a good person, and I HATED drugs. I began a relationship with a “bad boy” in high school. We dated from 15 until October of 2016, when I was 21. I was always a good kid, I never did drugs or drank a sip of alcohol. My ex-boyfriend and some of our friends peer pressured me into doing heroin one night. They told me to quit being such a good kid and have fun.
(Read previous blog post for the full story.)
I became an addict at 18, a few months from being 19 years old. My drug of choice was heroin and I snorted it. I never IV’d heroin due to me being scared of needles, and I knew it would be nearly impossible for me to get clean if I started doing it that way.
My boyfriend at the time, and I, both were addicts and became addicted that night he had me try heroin for the first time. It was his first time too. After that high hit us that night, we were in the chains of the devil.
We started dating 3 years prior to our addiction and were highschool sweethearts. He always was into drugs and drinking and I wasn’t. I think that’s what surprised me the most. He got me into this, I did it, but he introduced me to something that stole my money, life, and integrity from me.
He was my dealer, we lived together, and we constantly had addicts over who would buy heroin, do it there, and stay and talk for awhile. I felt like I couldn’t get away no matter what. I could of went back to live at home, but my family had no clue. I never smoked marijuana before, how could I tell my parents their good, straight A student, and their only child/daughter was addicted to heroin? I was worried I would disappoint them and be hated.
If you need help and your family doesn’t know, like mine didn’t, or you just need help all together, leave hints. I started to leave hints whenever I came over. I would ask for money everyday (I was working and didn’t need the money but I had no other way of hinting to them of my addiction), I would leave evidence around, and one hint I couldn’t hide was how horrible I looked due to the heroin. I never ate, that’s how most addicts are. I lost weight, my face got skinny, and I just looked sick all the time.
Never be afraid to speak up. Tell someone! I have a wealthy family with no addicts, and no one in my family loved someone who was an addict. My family was so loving and supportive once they figured out what the hints and signs meant. Your loved ones love you, they will help you.
Relapse may or may not happen. I went to rehab and my family had to pay OUT OF POCKET FOR MY WHOLE STAY, and I got out and relapsed. That was a big smack in the face to them. I was not ready to be clean. I left the hints and wanted help, but I just wasn’t ready for the sober life at that time.
I relapsed again. It happens. Everything happens for a reason right?
This last relapse in August of 2015 was my last.
To get clean and stay clean you need to be ready. You need to be ready to own up to what you have done to your family and loved ones. You need to attend meetings or get counseling. And most importantly, you need to be ready to live life sober.
Yeah, I may have a few drinks one night a year, maybe two nights a year, but don’t over do it. Before you know it you’ll have another addiction.
The second time I relapsed, I was depressed, detoxing at home, and miserable. I started drinking everyday for like two weeks straight. Trust me, you may not think you’ll become addicted to alcohol, but all us addicts thought we never would become addicted to our drug(s) of choice. It’s just giving up one for another if you fill that void with drinking or anything that you can become addicted to.
Be open with your family as well. My family didn’t know about drug addiction other than seeing their old friends become addicts or things on TV. I explained to them everything. I told them about how I chose to do my drug of choice, how many time a day I did heroin and how much. I told them stories about things that happened, and how I felt being sober. I explained all my thoughts and feelings while being sober.
If you feel a relapse coming, talk to your family. My family saved me from a few relapses. It’s not worth it, and you’ll be back to trying to get sober in no time, so why put yourself into that situation again with detoxing, and being sick?
Staying clean and maintaining sobriety can be very very difficult.
Talk to family, friends, loved ones, etc about your feelings if you feel you need to talk to someone. If you feel a relapse coming or a trigger, call someone.
See a counselor, therapist, or go to meetings everyday or a few days out of the week.
Leave old friends, places, and things in your past along with your addiction. Anything from the days of your addiction can trigger a relapse. Going to a friends house you used to get high at, for example, can cause a relapse.
Do a maintenance program after rehab/detox for a few months if needed.
Find new hobbies, people, places and things to do.
Keep yourself busy! The worst thing for an addict, especially in early recovery, is being alone and bored. That alone can cause a relapse very easily. That’s how I fell back into my addiction the first time I relapsed.
These few tips and tricks may or may not help you, but I hope they do…
If you or a loved one is struggling with addiction, please message or email me. I can help. I have been helping addicts and counseling adddits since I got sober and stayed sober for longer than a few months.
I can help you, if you want the help, and you need it, message or email me. Trust me, it may save your life or a loved ones life.
God bless all the addicts who still are struggling to get sober and still using. 🙏🏼💜