A recovering addicts’ uncensored story 

Welcome to my newest blog post. Let’s jump right into this story.

At the age of 15 I fell in love with a boy who I once hated. He was the “bad boy” type, with a bad attitude, and was a great fighter and fought people all the time. He did not take shit from anyone. If you said something about his mother, you were getting knocked the hell out. But, this isn’t the story, but he’s involved. I met this “bad boy” after my first boyfriend and I broke up. We dated for 1 year, he was my first everything. My first boyfriend, kiss, hug, cuddle buddy, etc. He broke my heart, and got my bestfriend at the time, pregnant.

A few short months after my first boyfriend and I broke up, the “bad boy” started to talk to me more. He always texted me, tried to get me to leave my first boyfriend for him, and has always just “wanted me.” So, I gave him a chance. Little did I know, how bad he would fuck my life up.

We just recently broke up a few months ago, but we dated from 15-21. Six damn years. I loved that man too much though. I let so much stuff happen to me, that no women/girl should ever have to experiance. But that part will be for another blog post story.

We dated from 15 until just this year like I said. But, when we were 19 he truly ruined my life forever. I’ve always been a naive, shy, girl. I had friends, drank 3 times or so underage at a friends house with just 2-3 people. I have never “partied” or rarely have done anything my parents would of killed me for. Pretty much I have done things I shouldn’t have done, but it was only what normal teens do. I drank a few times, smoked pot once (after my bestfriend at the time nearly made me), and snuck out a few times. Never anything horrible though. So fast forward through all the small details, you get that I was a good kid that did not do anything bad except minor teen things. 

So at 19, I was working as a call center representative, had my own apartment I rented off my grandmother, and my “bad boy” boyfriend of 4 years, lived with me. He got a job a few days after we moved in, I had mine 6 months prior to us moving on our own. Bad boys always have bad friends. So we moved in, were working, and within a few weeks his guy friend and guy friends’ girlfriend start coming over. I knew they were trouble. He wanted me and the girl to become friends so we could all hangout together. So witin a few days, that’s exactly what happened. 

Little did I know, they were on pills ( the guy and his girlfriend, whom were our age too). Pretty much for a few weeks we were all close. I was a good person, so I did not care what they did, as long as it was not around me. I did not judge hard. I knew I was against drugs. Or so I thought. 

One night, my “bad boys” cousin came over to “meet” with the guy/girl we were good friends with. I knew why. But I didn’t think I would see my boyfriend walking up afterwards too. He bought something, like they did. I couldn’t see what it was. Next thing I know, he has a “line” on my vanity and proceeds to tell me to snort it. I said “NO! ARE YOU SERIOUS?!”. He said “(My name), just do it, have fun for once in your damn life.” then “It’s one time, damn.” I looked at the line and noticed it was brown, meanwhile, I have never touched a pill, cocaine, crack, heroin, etc in my life or have seen it at this point in my life.

I could tell it was off by the color. He told me it was a pill, do it and relax, it’ll be okay. I still hesitated and just wanted to call and tell my mom or dad. But, then they would hate him even more (he abused me and cheated on me for 6 years, and during that time they hated him too. Abuse/cheating started a year into our relationship), so I just stood there. I said “is this heroin?” and then “I’ve never seen it, but this doesn’t look like a pill to me…”. He proceeded with “I would never give you something like that, especially something you could get addicted to.”

The friends were there (in the other room this whole time putting needles in their arms), and after they finsihed theirs, they came into the room we were in. They all peer pressured me and told me to have fun, quit being so good in life, etc etc. I eventually gave in. Once it was up my nose I instantly regretted it. I ran to blow my burning nose out. I knew what it was from the burn and taste, even though I never did pills or snorted anything a day in my life, I was not dumb or blinded by his lies. 

He told me “I knew if I told you what it was, you wouldn’t of done it.” I FLIPPED OUT AND KICKED THEM ALL OUT!

But…. it was too late. Blowing out my nose didn’t work because a wave of heat, and a high hit me once that door slammed shut. And the chains of the devil wrapped around me right then and there. 

After that regretful day, we started doing heroin every few days, then more frequently, then everyday. 

That day led me straight into an addiction I did not want nor deserve. Trusting people that “love you” isn’t always good. I could have said no, but I felt like I did not fit in. I was always good, and my friends always said “have fun for once, blah blah blah”. Yeah, that worked out in my favor really well. I wish I could go back. That day led me to my addiction, and his, that lasted for a year and a half. He started selling heroin a few months into the addiction, running/selling for his cousin, and he was my dealer. I lived with him our whole relationship and during addiction. If I left, I would of been sick. He would of cut me off, and my family did not know until the last month of my addiction so what choice did I have? 

My family is wealthy, with no addicts. I did not know at the time, how supportive they truly would of been/were with getting me help.

I am now nearly 2 years clean. I relapsed 2 times after rehab, but finally got my shit together and I am now 2 years clean and sober of the devil. Heroin ruins the lives of the addict and the ones who love them.
If you need advice/help for yourself/a loved one, comment below. 

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